memorycycle:

dmv: can i have you birth certificate

me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️

dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license

me: its so small and cute! 😳

dmv: just like you! ☺️

old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary:

I just want to get dicked down again =/

dailyfoodlovers:

They’re raising the price of butter and eggs to make me kill myself again but I won’t fall for that twice

kontextmaschine:

sighinastorm:

kontextmaschine:

I love that I can jerk off about guys now. That’s just so neat!

Could you not before?

No, I was straight my whole life, I actually tried “bihacking” myself as a teen but while I succeeded in dispelling any aversion to m/m sexuality I ultimately had to accept I was just not into it. But in 2020 I caught Covid before vaccines existed, it spread to my brain and caused enough damage there that my existing personality was no longer viable, and after a period of depersonalization I generated a new one that is different in some major respects, including being bisexual.

oh we’re back

spare-teeth:

Mutuals mutuals hi hi hi hiiii hi hiii for the love of God hello I am hopping at your feet like a small dog rn

tyrannosaurus-rex:

megapope:

my homie took 1 puff & was rent asunder

frogmoss1:

iamoutofideas:

frogmoss1:

iamoutofideas:

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

evilvillain123456789:

JAMES. CORDEN.

YOU HAVE OFFENDED THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY WITH YOUR CONTINUOUS ACT OF GAYFACE.

YOU MUST SUCK 100 COCKS TO COMPLETION OR ELSE YOU WILL BE SENTENCED TO EXILE.

leolaroot:

leolaroot:

traumacore edit I spill my juice mods help